


One Day

by DirtyLilGreaseMonkey



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Katies Death, Roberts Shooting Detailed, Scars, mild sexual references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6242044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey/pseuds/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a day in court Robert and Aaron discuss the night Robert got shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Day

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt - Could you write a fic on Robert telling Aaron how he felt when he thought that it was him who shot him
> 
> So I decided to do this at present because I'd love to see them have this conversation at some point, or at least address some of the things I touched on, espeically the vicious words Robert said to Aaron at the scrapyard on the day he was shot. Hope I covered your prompt anon <3

They spent most nights together now especially the past few weeks as the trial took its toll on Aaron, he didn't want to sleep alone. They would shed their suits after a day in court and spend the evenings sat on the sofa in Vics front room willing the hours away with whatever mindless rubbish was on TV before heading up to bed, ready to face the next laborious day after a good night’s sleep. Sometimes with Robert on the floor but more often than not they would sleep together Roberts arms wrapped protectively around Aaron. It was something that just happened and something they had yet to talk about but neither of them wanted the comfort they got from the nights spent together to stop. 

Tonight was no different as they gravitated towards each other on the sofa, Aarons head in Roberts lap while Robert rubbed along the length his arm, both of them enjoying the familiarity of the comfort. Aaron however wasn't paying attention to the television he was replaying the days questioning over and over in his head. Gordon’s solicitor had been relentless, wanting to know every detail about his time in prison a few months ago where he had been charged for Roberts shooting, he couldn’t answer all over their questions because there was still so much about that night that he didn’t know, that no one knew about, the only person that did was the man next to him. Without thinking Aaron braced himself on Roberts thigh as he sat up, hastily retracting his hand when he saw Roberts involuntary twitch. 

“Sorry,” Robert whispered as the redness crept across his cheeks and he quickly adjusted himself.

“It's okay,” Aaron gave a small laugh the same thing had happened to him on more than one occasion and was to be expected what with their history and their renewed intimacy over the last few months. 

“What did you want to ask,” Robert questioned hurriedly as he turned bringing his knee towards the back of the sofa opening himself up to Aaron knowing the only reason he would have moved away from him was to ask a question, the gnawing of his bottom lip another sign to Robert something was clearly on the younger mans mind. 

Aaron turned mirroring his position, he still found it strange that Robert knew he so well, if fact Robert could probably read Aaron better than even himself. They were now sat facing each other legs wide on opposite ends of the sofa. 

“I erm…” Aaron continued to bite his lip not sure he could ask Robert now they were face to face. 

“Come on Aaron no secrets remember,” Robert reminded him but even as he said it he felt the twinge of guilt in the pit of his stomach one that had been growing all day listening to the questioning in court and hadn’t died down now they were back home. 

“Okay well today at the trial…” Aaron began anxiously.

“Aaron,” Robert didn’t want Aaron to think about the trial, not when they were alone together, but it was dragging on longer than either of them had expected and with today’s subject hanging unspoken about between them Aarons questions were inevitable. 

“No it's fine well it's not but that's not what I'm asking, it got me thinking ya know about when you,” Aaron indicated towards Roberts chest and the scar he knew lay underneath his shirt, a scar that if he was honest with himself he wanted to feel under his fingertips and compare it to his own. 

“When what....oh,” Robert said as he followed Aarons gaze down to his chest, 

“You can say it Aaron.” 

“Shot.....when you got shot, erm,” Aaron bit his lip again bringing his hands in to sit in between his open legs,

“Did you really think it was me?” 

“Aaron,” Robert pleaded his hands aching with the need to reach out for him but he stayed still he wasn’t sure how Aaron would reach to his touch now that the usual comfortable dynamic between them had changed.

“It's okay I shouldn't have asked forget it,” Aaron said turning away and making to get up. 

“Hey,” Robert said and reached out before he could stop himself, pulling him back gently by his arm,

“I guess we need to talk about this eh?”

“Yes but only if you’re ready,” Aaron said quietly knowing how much the shooting had affected the blonde man in front of him.

Robert let out a soft chuckle, he should be taking care of Aaron, he had enough to think about without worrying about how Robert felt but he nodded anyway, knowing Aaron wouldn’t let it go and it was time to tell him the truth, all of it, but that meant going back to that day, to all the horrible things he’d said to Aaron but there was no way around that now.

“Guess we should start at the beginning then,” Robert sighed. 

“When?” Aaron asked softly not really knowing what beginning Robert was talking about, 

“You and me, or…” 

“Katie,” Robert breathed out even though it pained him; it pained them both to hear her name. 

“When I told Andy, about Katie, I-I kept you out of it, I wanted to protect you,” Robert continued, ‘just like I'm doing now’ he wanted to add but didn't say it. 

“It was my fault she died.” 

“You didn't intentionally kill her Rob,” Aaron said softly after a few moments his words bringing tears to Roberts eyes.

“You still believe that?” Robert sniffed.

“Yes,” Aaron nodded,

“I know you remember and I know she died because of me because you were too scared of.....of us.” 

“Aaron,” Robert reached for Aarons hand but he withdrew it back into himself them slowly.

“Carry on,” Aaron prompted as he brought his hand into his lap and away from Roberts not ready to feel the connection between them, not yet, not with subject Katie’s death in the air between them.

“I'm a coward Aaron,” the words made Aarons eyes flick up towards the older man. 

“I should have just been honest from the start but getting shot was the best thing to happen to me.”

“What?” Aaron stared at him open mouthed, he’d never expected Robert to actually be honest with him. 

He reached out again and this time Aaron didn’t pull away, he let Robert take his hand in between his and hold him, both of their eyes closing for a moment from the contact. 

“I've hurt so many people Aaron but you most of all, I just couldn't believe it was you, everyone was so sure but not me, not then, and not now.” 

“But you did,” Aaron whispered his eyes opening to find Roberts eyes staring down on their intertwined hands and as he pulled his back he could see the panic on Roberts face but Aaron needed to break the connection, he could still felt the betrayal of Roberts mistrust.

“As soon as I found...knew for certain it wasn't you I got you out,” Robert tried to reassure not only Aaron but himself. 

“It wasn’t soon enough,” Aaron said sadly as his mind wandered back to the days he’d spent in that prison cell, alone with nothing but his dark thoughts. 

Robert knew what Aaron was doing and knew they had a lot to talk about still but he needed a break, needed to collect himself to work out what to say. 

“Do you want a beer?”

“Sure,” Aaron could use the alcohol right now.

Robert got up and made his way to the kitchen, pausing at the living room door to look back at the man he loved folding himself up in the corner of the sofa, still so unsure of his love, he sighed to himself, he knew if he told Aaron the truth about Andy he might risk losing him, but he also knew that if they had any chance for a future together, even if it was just as friends, he had to tell Aaron everything. 

“Here,” Robert offered Aaron the bottled beer with an outstretched hand as he sat back down next to him.

“Thanks,” Aaron said with a nod, he took a sip, hissing slightly from the bitter taste.

He placed the bottle on the coffee table and arranged himself on the sofa so he was once again facing Robert, a sizable distance between them, he was about to say how tired he was and that they should forget about today when Robert, having downed half his bottle started to talk.

“I ruined my brother’s life that night, just like I ruined yours.” 

“You didn't,” Aaron scoffed his life was ruined long before Robert had turned up.

“Maybe not but I didn't exactly help did I?” Robert said his jaw clenching with the knowledge of how much he’d hurt Aaron in the past.

Aaron didn't know what to say to that, yes Robert had hurt him, just like Aaron had hurt Robert when he’d revealed the affair. 

“He gave me an out ya know,” Robert told him when Aaron had been quiet for a while.

“Who?”

“Andy,” Robert sighed, 

“He told me to leave t-that day, when..” 

“You got shot,” Aaron pointed to towards his chest emphasising his point.

Robert nodded. 

“I couldn't.” 

“Why?” Aaron asked.

“Because I didn't wanna run anymore, from him, from Vic,” Robert claimed, 

“From you.” 

“Me?” Aaron exclaimed, at the time Robert got shot they were hardly talking to each other. 

“Come off it Aaron you know how- how felt about you even then.” 

“Yeah there's a fine line between love and hate isn't there,” Aaron sneered. 

“I...,” Robert was lost for words not sure how to take Aarons reaction and Aaron would see the confusion on his furrowed brow.

“It's fine just…,” Aaron nodded for him to continue. 

“I never thought it was you Aaron n-not in the beginning but Diane and Vic were so sure,” Robert paused, his eyes locked on Aaron letting him know he was serious, he never thought Aaron was capable of hurting him. 

Aarons couldn’t look away from Roberts gaze, the intensity behind it causing his heart to race but he stayed quiet and let Robert continue. 

“When I woke up I didn't know where I was, let alone what happened.” 

“You didn't?” Aaron let out with a heavy breath; he never knew Robert hadn’t remembered. 

“No. Diane and Vic they told me. I just assumed it was Andy,” Robert tried to hide the fact that it was the truth. 

“Andy?” 

“Yeah after everything that day he had a right to ya know,” Robert shrugged he knew he’d have to tell Aaron the truth he just hoped he could forgive him.

“Guess so,” Aaron agreed his brow creasing as he remember Andy had an alibi,

“But he checked himself in somewhere didn’t he so it can't have been him can it.”

“No,” Robert lied before he quickly carried on. 

“I tried to remember, Diane and Vic warned me it wasn't a good idea but I needed to know who did that, this,” his eyes falling down to his chest and back up to Aaron, 

“To me.” 

“Long list of suspects,” Aaron scoffed his eyes following Roberts down to his chest before he looked back up at him with something like pity in his eyes causing Roberts heart to constrict because it was the exact same look he knew he’d given Aaron a dozen times since learning the truth about his dad and now he understood why Aaron hated it so much. 

“Yeah Lawrence I remembered we had a barny here at Vics.” 

Aaron stayed quiet, he remembered the argument, remembered his fists balling at his sides, remembered the taste of bile in his mouth, remembered how much he hated Robert in that moment, but that wasn’t the Robert that sat across from him now, the shooting had changed him. 

“And erm Chas at the back of the pub but then nothing.” 

“Nothing?”

“Chrissie was another obvious choice,” Robert pointed out who he thought had shot him. 

“Or that weird son of hers,” Aaron added, he’d never like Lachlan, especially not after that whole thing with Alicia. 

“Yeah any of that lot I just couldn't remember,” Robert sighed. 

“When was this?” Aaron asked out of curiously, suddenly realising he didn’t even know the date Robert had regained consciousness. 

“22nd I think.” 

“Right,” Aaron nodded. 

“You were already….” 

“Yep,” Aaron forced out.

“Sorry,” Robert apologised not sure why. 

“What for? I had the gun,” Aaron reminded him but Robert chose to ignore that and carried on talking.

“Vic asked me if I'd seen ya that night and I told her I hadn't which was the truth. She said it was important that's when I knew they were hiding something from me, you didn't even cross my mind,” Robert said with a shake of his head.

“Thanks,” Aaron with a click of his tongue.

“You know what I mean it couldn't have been you, you wouldn't do that but when Diane said you had the gun and...... I dunno,” Robert huffed out his palms up as if he didn’t have the answer which he didn’t. 

“You thought it was me,” Aaron said sadly.

Robert leant forward he wanted Aaron to know he never thought it was him, not in the beginning.

“No I mean yes, I don't know, I asked if you'd admitted it, but all they knew was that you'd been charged and all I could think was how much you must have hated me.” 

“I did,” Aaron admitted. 

Robert skipped over that fact, he knew how much Aaron hated him, how a part of him would always hate him for the things he'd done, but he'd promised them both, himself and Aaron, that he'd prove how much he'd changed, that he’d prove to Aaron how much he cared, and he had been, working at the yard, supporting him anyway he could, being there for him as a friend, like he was now, like he had been night after agonising night. 

“Andy came to see me, told me he didn't think it was you, so did Cain,” Robert offered after the silence became too much.

“What Cain came to see ya?” 

“Yeah scared the crap out of me,” Aaron couldn’t hide his smile, a smile now reflected back at him on Roberts face.

“Basically told me you would beat the shit outta me instead of hiding behind a gun.” 

“Huh,” Aaron huffed and Robert moved on quickly.

“The police came, they told me they had you in custody but I argued told em you weren't the only one who wanted me dead. Andy was the top of my list.”

“And mine but he had an alibi,” Aaron reminded him. 

Robert nodded in agreement, yes his brother did have an alibi but that didn’t stop him making a deal with Ross flaming Barton. He had to get off the subject of Andy, he wanted to tell Aaron but there were still things they had to talk about first. 

“When they arrested me,” Robert started and Aaron was confused for a second before he realised they’d jumped back to earlier that day, the day Robert was shot,

“I was in that room and they asked questions the only thing I could think about was you, keeping your name out of it.”

“You should have been thinking about Andy,” Aaron pointed out.

“And I was,” Robert cried in frustration.

“Yeah right,” Aaron scoffed, he knew Robert didn’t think about anyone but himself, well back then he didn’t.

“Okay maybe I wasn't but I'm not lying about you Aaron I wanted to…” he paused while he searched for the right word. 

“Keep me safe, to protect me,” Aaron laughed humourlessly remembering what he’d told him at the yard, he knew Robert too well. 

“Yeah.”

“Funny way of showing it,” Aaron quipped sadly knowing what was coming next. 

“I came to find you straight after.” 

“Don't,” Aaron warned through gritted teeth. 

“We have to,” Robert insisted they needed to move past what he’d said to Aaron that day at the scrapyard.

“Don't,” Aaron choked out again as he recalled the venomous words Robert had spat at him making his eyes sting with tears.

“I thought this is what you wanted,” Robert fretted, the last thing he wanted to do was upset Aaron, not when he knew he had to get up and face that man again in the morning.

“I can't,” Aaron whispered wiping away a stray tear that had fallen down his cheek. 

“We need to talk about this Aaron,” Robert pointed out,

“All of it, don’t we?” 

Aaron sat back down and sighed running his hand over his face before hiding them in the sleeves of his jumper, the words Robert had said that day playing over and over in his mind like they had done for weeks after. 

“I lied for you, to you to protect ya.” 

“I didn't need protecting Robert,” Aaron sighed. 

“I know,” Robert regrettably agreed with a nod of his head. 

“I just wanted the truth, that’s all I’ve ever wanted,” Aaron choked back a sob.

“I know alright I know and I'm an idiot, those things I said…” 

“Don't,” Aaron cried however much he thought he was he wasn’t ready to hear those vile words again.

“Aaron please,” Robert moved forward on the sofa but stopped when he saw Aaron flinch away from him. 

“What do ya want me to say that I forgive ya?” Aaron hissed.

“I don't expect ya to forgive me.”

“Good,” Aaron moved into the corner of the sofa, as far away from Robert as he could and folded his arms across his chest and turned his head away in an attempt to rein his anger in.

“But I want you to understand those words, they weren't about you,” Robert tried to explain as he moved back to his original position opposite Aaron. 

“Yeah right,” Aaron grimaced.

“No please listen I was cruel spiteful because,” Robert clenched his fists,

“Oh Aaron, it was because you didn't want me.” 

Aarons face turned slowly to meet Roberts his mouth open in shock as Robert continued.

“You pushed me away with good reason and I was felt alone, lost, you were the one person I had and I pushed you too far and I'm so sorry.” 

“You were right,” 

“What?” it was Roberts turn to be shocked.

“Everything you said was right, about me,” it had taken Aaron a long time to come to terms with the words Robert had used, they were cruel and spiteful just like Robert said but that didn’t stop them from being true.

“It wasn't Aaron I didn't mean…” 

“It's your turn to listen,” Aaron leaned in towards Robert. 

“All those things you said.” 

“No Aaron please I was hurt and angry I didn't,” Roberts voice was horse as he fought his urge to cry. 

“But you did,” Aaron hissed out he could still feel the anger from Roberts words running through his veins. 

“If I'd have known,” Robert gestured around them trying to indicate what Aaron was going through now. 

“What?” 

Robert shook his head. 

“Come on! What?” Aaron bated him.

“I don't know,” Robert breathed out his voice shaking.

“You didn't say anything I haven't said to myself but hearing it from you from someone I...”

“Aaron…,” all Robert wanted to do was wrap his arms around him and whisper how much he loved him but the hurt in Aarons eyes held him in place. 

“It hurt. It still does. You basically told me I was worthless.” 

“You’re not worthless Aaron, I’m so sorry,” Robert could feel his chin begin to wobble. 

“So you keep saying,” Aaron scowled.

The silence grew between them until Aaron couldn’t take the sadness on Roberts face anymore. 

“It hurt,” Aaron repeated.

“I'm sorry,” Robert sobbed. 

“Even after everything, those words hurt,” Aaron rasped fighting back tears of his own. 

“I'm so sorry.” 

“I just wanted you gone,” Aaron confessed. 

“I wished you'd of just hit me,” Robert sniffed after a few minutes. 

“Why?” Aaron questioned, he’d managed to get his breathing back under control. 

“Because then I'd have known,” Robert muttered. 

“Known what?” 

“That you still….” 

“You wanted a reaction that's why,” Aaron puffed out knowing exactly what Robert had wanted.

“Yes,” Robert admitted his eyes cast down unable to meet Aarons, 

“I told you I was a coward.” 

Robert took a deep breath and told Aaron something he knew he shouldn’t. 

“When you turned and you said 'that's the last time you are gonna talk to me like that' you were so angry I could feel your breath across my face and all I wanted you to do was kiss me,” Robert looked away ashamed of himself. 

“Kiss you?” Aaron exploded,

“You’re unbelievable.”

Robert stayed quiet, his head hanging in shame. 

“I hated you so much after that night. Do you know..” Aaron was about tell him about what he’d said to him as he lay unconscious in that hospital bed.

“Go on.” 

“No,” Aaron shook his head; he wasn’t as cruel as Robert. 

“Please Aaron,” Robert begged and Aaron conceded, perhaps it would be good for Robert to hear exactly how much he had hated him.

“I came to hospital.”

“You did? When?” But Robert already knew it was when he was in the coma.

“You were still out of it.” 

‘I felt you’ Robert wanted to say because he had he'd known as soon as he woke that Aaron had been there at some point he could just feel it, like a weight on his heart, a weight he was still carrying but one that got less and less each day as he stood by Aaron.

“I told you….” Aaron fretted not sure how to tell the man that loved him he wanted him to die. 

“What Aaron what did you tell me?”

“To die, I wanted you dead.”

“Oh,” Roberts stomach sank as a wave of nausea hit him, he knew Aaron hated him, he just never knew how much until now.

The hurt that crossed Roberts face caused Aaron to break down.

“I wanted this,” he tugged at his jumper, 

“Pain I felt here, love or hate or whatever to stop. For the guilt to go away and I thought it would be easier without you but but I was wrong.” 

“You were?” Robert lifted his eyes up to find Aarons rimmed red from the silent tears he’d been shedding.

“I couldn’t have done this without you any of this,” Aaron wanted to climb into Robert lap to have him hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay but he knew it wasn’t, knew that it wouldn’t be when they still had things to talk about.

“Aaron,” Robert tentatively reached his hand out between them hoping Aaron would take it. 

“No I’m okay,” Aaron sniffed wiping his nose on the back of his sleeve.

“It’s alright you were right, we need to talk about this, all of this, I need to okay,” Aaron nodded. 

“Okay what erm what else do you want to know?” Robert asked bringing his outstretched arm in to wrap around his own body.

“That night, what happened that night?” Aaron wanted to know.

“You already know,” Robert said his hand coming up to cover his chest.

“The car park, why were you and my mum even there?”

“When I got that text from your mum to meet her I thought she'd warn me away from you, but she didn't, she just told me to go but I couldn't I couldn't leave Andy or Vic, she said she knew,” Robert glanced at Aaron and it was obvious he knew what he was talking about,

“You told her everything.” 

“I had to,” Aaron grunted. 

“I know,” Robert nodded in understanding which came as a surprise to Aaron.

“You do?” 

“She's your mum,” Robert noted and he knew how much he relied on Chas especially now. 

“Yeah yeah she is,” Aaron couldn’t believe Robert was letting him get away with it, he thought they’d at least have some sort of fight, maybe he really had changed.

“What erm what did it feel like?” Aaron wasn’t sure where this question came from but a part of him wanted to know if Robert had nightmares about it like he had. 

“I don't remember one minute your mum was telling me to go then there was this flash, and bang and then nothing.” 

“Nothing?”

“I don't remember,” Robert had recounted that night so many times in his head with the same result, nothing, he didn’t remember anything. 

“There was blood,” Aaron looked down at his hands he didn't even have to close his eyes to see it there, he often looked down to find them covered in his own blood with Roberts mixed in as well. 

“You were there?” Robert gasped. 

“Yeah I was,” Aaron admitted, anxiously pulling on his sleeve over his hand so he didn’t have to see the blood.

“What?” Robert questioned when he noticed Aarons unease.

“You'll hate me.” 

“Not possible,” Robert assured him.

“I was on the way to find you when I heard it, the…,” he used his sweater covered hand and pointed towards Roberts chest, 

“The shot. I erm dropped the crowbar and ran and that's when I found it.” 

“What?” Robert wasn’t even sure what he was asking, what Aaron had found or what he was doing with a crowbar. 

“The gun,” Aaron ignored his own comment about the crowbar and carried on,

“I saw me mum knelt over you and just thought, well I didn't think did I-I grabbed it hid it; I was just trying to protect her.”

Robert nodded still trying to process the fact that Aaron had a crowbar, he knew he had been meant for him. 

“You were just lying there, on the ground with me mum stood over you.” 

“You thought she did it?” Robert asked as his words sank in. 

“Could you blame her?”

“No pretty sure she'd still like to kill me now,” Robert snorted.

“I wouldn't let her,” Aaron breathed out causing a faint smile to appear on Roberts lips. 

“Thanks.”

“So you were saying,” Robert prompted after Aaron didn’t continue, he wanted to know more of what he couldn’t remember. 

“You were so cold,” Aarons eyes seemed to glaze over as if he was transported back to that dark September night.

“You….” Aaron stuttered,

“Dan he erm got me to put pressure on the wound.” 

“You saved me?” Roberts mouth fell open.

“I erm I didn't erm.” 

“Aaron?” 

“I couldn't watch you die no matter how much I wanted you gone,” Aaron snivelled the tears flowing free from his eyes now. 

“Hey you alright?” Robert asked in concern, he wanted to hear the rest but his need to look after Aaron took over, but Aaron couldn’t stop.

“I lost it, I tried so hard to stop the bleeding.” 

“You did look I'm fine see no blood,” Robert waved a hand in front of his face and gestured to his shirt. 

“I can still…” 

“No Aaron this had nothing to do with you,” Robert proclaimed and something is his voice snapped Aarons eyes up to meet his.

“You know who it was don't ya?” 

“No,” Robert lied again.

“You’re lying,” Aaron spat jabbing his finger towards him. 

“Aaron.”

“That day in the cafe when I asked you, you told me he wasn't after my mum how would you know that eh?” 

“Please just drop it Aaron.” 

“You’re kidding right? After everything I've told you?” 

“This isn't about that, about you.” 

“It isn't? Secrets and lies Robert, that's all there is between us and I don't….” Aaron stopped himself before he could admit he wanted more.

“You don't…what?” 

“I don't want that if…” Aaron tried but couldn’t tell Robert what he wanted.

“If what Aaron?”

“Forget it,” Aaron seemed to have changed his mind. 

“Aaron?” 

“If you can’t tell me than I don’t know where that leaves us, if there is even an us.”

“Aaron,” Robert said his name with such adoration Aaron nearly crumbled but he couldn’t, there couldn’t be any more lies. 

“I mean it Rob,” Aaron argued,

“No more lies.”

Robert couldn’t take it all in, he thought they were just friends, he thought that’s what Aaron wanted, but maybe, maybe they had a chance if he just told Aaron the truth.

“Okay what else do you want to know?”

“Everything,” Aaron declared.

Robert thought for a while and knew he had to tell him but there was something Aaron was holding back too so he started again, explaining why he thought Aaron was the one who shot him.

“Coming back to the village was scary. I erm was jittery ya know, not knowing who was still after me. Adam and Vic were fighting, Adam was on your side of course,” the thought caused Aaron to smile. 

“I went to that place.” 

“Alone?” Aaron questioned, his worry holding his earlier anger at bay. 

“Yeah,” Robert nodded. 

“Why?” 

“I just wanted to remember so see.” 

“To see if it was me,” Aaron said sadly.

“No Aaron I never thought….but Vic she was so sure.” 

“She trusts the police,” Aaron was never mad at Vic for thinking it was him; she was just following what the police had told her. 

“Unlike you,” Robert inclined his head towards Aaron.

“And you and anyone for that matter,” Aaron stated it was a well-known fact that the Dingles didn’t trust the cops. 

“She's a good person Aaron.” 

“You think I don't know that,” Aaron scoffed.

“Sorry,” Robert whispered before carrying on,

“Part of me wanted it to be you ya know because you had the gun and I wouldn't have to be afraid but I thought I was Chrissie. It had to be. They all told me to accept it was you but I couldn't I mean how can someone that's....”

“That's what?” Aaron puzzled. 

“How can someone who loved me do that?” 

“I never,” Aaron gulped; he hadn’t said those words to Robert for a very long time.

“You did that day I'll never forget it Aaron.” 

“Your wedding day,” Aaron sneered.

“Yes okay I know I screwed everything up okay, but you did, don't deny it, I know you loved me once,” Robert maintained, 

“And I couldn't believe that you could shoot me, that's why I wanted to be at the hearing to look you in the eye so I would know for sure that you didn’t.” 

“Didn't go down well did it,” Aaron snarled as he remember their exchange while he was in the dock. 

“No I thought I'd know if I saw you I'd know but you were angry and you lashed out, and yeah I'll admit after that I thought it was you, that you wanted me dead so much that you.” 

“Robert,” Aaron cried. 

“It's fine Aaron I know you hate me.”

“I did.”

Robert nodded his breath quickening at the past tense of his words.

“The day after the hearing I wanted nothing more to do with you, wanted to get you out the scrapyard.” 

“You really thought I was me,” Aaron said the hurt in his voice painfully obvious Roberts breath hitched in his throat.

“For a while yes but then I learned that it wasn't.” 

What was he supposed to say? He couldn't tell Aaron about Andy confession to Ashley couldn't tell him how he kept digging and digging until he found out the truth, couldn't tell him that his own brother hated him that much that he made a deal to have him killed, couldn't tell him how angry he was that Andy was willing to let Aaron take the blame, the only thing he could say was, 

“And as soon as I knew that I rang the police told them what I remembered.” 

“Hang on,” Aaron puzzled,

“You don’t remember or was that another lie?” 

“It wasn't you,” Robert stated as if that was enough. 

“How?” Aaron wanted to know how Robert knew it wasn’t him.

“Does it matter? 

“Of course it does,” Aaron urged him to tell the truth. 

Robert pinched the bridge of his nose. Aaron had known Robert knew who’d shot him, he’d told him that himself but he also knew that however it was he was just trying to protect wither them or Aaron or both from the truth. So he decided to use a different tactic, distraction.

“I drove round looking for Andy after we flipped out, after you made him flip out. I was worried in case….ya know,” Aaron didn’t have to say; they both knew he was talking about the quarry.

“No of this is your fault Aaron,” Robert repeated the same line he’d said a lot over the past few months in relation to the trial.

“And then I went looking for you.” 

“Really?” this was new information to Robert.

That look of surprise on Roberts face was what Aaron was hoping for to shock him into revealing whatever he was holding back. 

“Yeah I was outside the window when you were talking to Lawrence.” 

“What did you hear?” Robert panicked; he had been intentionally vicious talking to his father-in-law.

“Everything.” 

“Aaron I…..”

“You didn't love her did you,” Aaron asked the question he’d wanted to ask Robert ever since their affair began. 

“Yes I did,” Robert vowed, his words reaffirming something Aaron already knew.

“So you didn't love me?” Aaron asked out of curiosity more than anything.

“Yes I did,” Robert repeated adding, 

“I still do.”

“And her?” Aaron couldn’t help himself, if there was ever a chance for them being more than just friends he needed to know. 

“What about her?” Robert said flippantly, the last thing he wanted to be doing was taking about Chrissie. 

“You’re gonna make me say it?” Aaron croaked his voice thick with tears.

“No Aaron I don't love her, I did I'm not gonna deny that but you your different.” 

“Special?” Aaron cringed as he said it.

“Yes,” Robert nodded making Aaron scoff. 

“I thought I wasn't special.”

“You were, you are,” Robert insisted leaning forward pleading for Aaron to believe him. 

“I wasn't the only one,” Aaron reiterated Roberts own words back to him. 

“You were there was never anyone else,” Robert cried. 

“Just Chrissie,” Aaron muttered. 

“Yes.” 

“Can you even say it?” Aaron wanted to know if Robert, who had told him he’d come to terms with loving him, could actually say the word gay.

“Say what?” Robert asked in confusion.

Aaron looked at him in disbelief, 

“Forget it,” Aaron muttered, it wasn’t even important, Robert had shown just how much he cared over the last few months and there was something else Aaron wanted to know. 

“Why did you come to the hearing, if you knew it wasn’t me?”

Robert was taken aback by the sudden change in direction he sat back and told Aaron again,

“I had to see for myself if I saw you I thought I'd know for sure you didn't do it but....”

“You really thought I could?” Aaron asked with red rimmed eyes. 

“You-you were so angry that day in court.” 

“I hated you,” Aaron stated. 

“Hated?” there it was again the past tense filling Roberts heart up with hope that he tried and failed to squash back down.

“Even after everything what you said in the yard that day it hurt and I hated that fact that I still loved you.”

“Loved?” Robert heart sped up at the word.

“What I said Aaron I was just trying to protect myself.” 

“From what?” Aaron almost yelled but managed to hold it back so it came out more of a grunt. 

“I was protecting myself from-from the way I felt about you.” 

“And how's that?” 

“I loved you Aaron I still do and I think I always will.”

“But…” 

“I know it's taken me a long time to accept it.” 

Aaron thought about everything Robert had done for him and knew without a doubt Robert loved him. 

“That day in the park you said you wanted to do this differently that you still…”

“Nothing’s changed Aaron.”

“It might,” Aaron found Roberts eyes with his as they glistened with what he was about to admit.

“What do you mean?” 

“You thought I shot you,” Aaron said softly trying to calm his racing heart as he built up to confess to Robert what he had intended to do that night. 

“Because you were so angry at me,” Robert wondered where Aaron was going.

“What changed?”

“I talked to a few people did some digging and Adam reminded me that your more of a hands on kinda guy I swear if he wasn't married to my sister....”

“Jealous?”

“Completely,” Robert breathed out.

The honesty in his voice made Aaron chew on his lip as he looked up at him. Robert and Adam had never gotten along but had in recent months come to an understanding for Aarons sake and could now be civilised towards each other when in the same room. 

“He was right,” he was beginning to think Robert might never tell him who shot him but at least he could be honest about his part in that day.

“Who?” Robert asked in confusion.

“Adam, Cain they both were.”

“Aaron?” Robert started to worry where Aaron was going.

“After I saw you with Lawrence I came looking for ya because I know it was only a matter of time before you wormed your way back into my life just like you'd done a million times before and we both know I’d have let ya so I came with a crowbar.” 

“A crowbar?” Robert had wondered when they were going to revisit that.

“Yep up close and personal just like you like it,” Aaron joked trying to distract Robert from the harshness of it all. 

“Aaron.” 

“Sorry,” Aaron offered as he brought his knees up and wrapping his arms around them, worried what Robert would think of him. 

“No it's alright we er need to ya know get this all out there, you er really hated me that much.” 

Aaron bit his lip and nodded his hand clamped together in front of him not sure how to ask for what he wanted next. 

“Aaron?” Robert knew Aaron wanted to ask something from the way he was gnawing on his lip, averting his eyes every time Robert tried to catch his gaze. 

“W-will you show me?” Aaron whispered. 

“Show you what?” Roberts eyes followed Aarons as he nodded towards his chest. 

“Aaron I….” 

“Show me,” Aaron repeated as he eyes found Roberts the need in his voice affecting Robert so much he couldn’t say no.

Aarons eyes stayed on as Robert began to unbutton his shirt, a task remembered doing so clearly doing for him on numerous occasions, the though making blood flow and not only to his cheeks and he turned away just as Robert pulled the shirt off and dropped it to the floor.

“You said you wanted to see,” Roberts voice cracked as he saw Aaron turn away from him suddenly feeling very exposed.

“I do,” Aaron breathed out as the panic at what Robert might ask him to do took over.

As if Robert could read his mind he said,

“I won’t ask you you know that right, not until…”

“It’s fine I just need to….”

“Okay,” Robert nodded he screwed his eyes closed at the possibility Aaron wouldn’t like what he saw.

This was new ground for them, yes they had been sleeping together but never without clothes, this was the first time since their last time together they had seen each other without any barriers between them, although there was still one on Roberts part, not a physical one but a lie, a lie he knew he couldn’t keep telling.

Aaron took a deep breath as let it out as his eyes found Roberts face, the pain so clearly etched across it he wanted to reach out so he did, the initial touch making Robert gasp out his name. 

“Aaron.” 

“It’s okay I want to,” Aaron reassured him as crawled across he sofa and climbed on to his lap, his knees on either side on Roberts thighs.

He licked his lips as he shuffled against Robert remembering the intimacy they had once shared. 

“Can I?” Aaron whispered searching Roberts eyes for permission. 

Robert gave a slight nod and once again closed his eyes as Aaron reached out laying his hand flat on his chest. Robert shivered from the contact, it had been so long since he’d been touched, since Aaron had touched him he let out an involuntary moan as Aaron moved his hand towards his scar.

“A couple of inches to the left and it could have been a different story,” Robert joked as Aaron traced the silvery scar with his fingers.

But Aaron didn’t laugh, Robert had been the one thing keeping him going with everything he had to deal with right now, being with him was the only time he felt safe, the only time he felt normal, knowing that Robert still wanted him, feeling that fact now as he sat astride him was what kept him fighting, he wanted this again, with Robert to be with Robert properly this time. As his fingers trailed across Roberts marked skin his couldn’t help thinking how much smoother the scar was compared to his own. 

“You could have died,” Aaron breathed out.

“I’m still here,” Robert said as he opened his eyes to find Aaron deep blue ones focused on his and he couldn’t stop himself when he said,

“That day when you came home and you said you hated me.” 

“Robert,” Aaron said his name like it was the last name he’d ever speak and with his hand still on his chest Robert knew it was now or never. 

“No listen,” he insisted, hesitantly placing his hands on top of Aarons thighs,

“That was the day I knew.” 

“Knew what?” Aaron asked closing his eyes briefly to Roberts touch.

“That I still loved you, that I'll always love you.” 

“Oh.” 

Aaron eyes dropped down to Roberts lips, his tongue automatically drawing along his to moisten them. 

“Even when?” Aaron didn’t know what he was asking, even when Robert knew what his dad had done to him, even when Robert knew he’d hated him, even when there was no chance of them ever being together again, even then? 

“Yes,” Robert sighed as Aaron continued to trace the length of his scar. 

“Oh,” Aaron breathed out, Robert really did love him. 

“There's something you should know,” Robert grabbed his wrist lightly to stop his movements, if he didn’t tell him now he never would. 

“More secrets,” Aaron laughed until he saw the look on Roberts face and gulped.

“Yes,” Robert nodded sadly. 

“What?” 

“It's was...” Robert hesitated.

“It's okay Robert you can tell me.” 

“Andy,” Robert breathed out with a sigh of relief that he’d finally told Aaron the truth. 

“Andy what?” Aaron didn’t understand.

“It was Andy,” Robert said looking down at Aarons hand which was still on his chest. 

“No,” Aaron shook his head, 

“He was…” he looked over his shoulder for some unknown reason. 

“He didn't pull the trigger but it was him, he hates me Aaron,” Robert cried softly,

“Just like you.”

“I don't hate ya Rob,” Aaron promised, moving his hand up from Roberts chest to cup his cheek

“You don't?” Robert marvelled as he leant into Aarons touch. 

“No ya muppet,” Aaron softly chuckled before swallowing thickly as he inched closer to him, 

“I...”

“Tell me please Aaron,” Robert knew it was selfish, knew he should ask Aaron, not when he was still dealing with what Gordon had put him through but he couldn’t help it when he felt Aarons breath blowing across his face. 

“I...,” Aaron started again but he couldn’t.

“You feel it too don't you?” Robert asked his hands moving up Aarons legs until they were around his waist bringing them even closer together.

“Yes but…” 

“Oh,” Robert tried to avert his gaze but Aarons hand on his cheek remained firm. 

“No Robert I'm just...in the park,” Aaron tried to explained that he couldn’t take the chance of Robert rejecting him again.

“You weren't ready,” Robert 

“I don't know if I'm ready now,” Aaron whispered even as he leant in towards him but his words made Robert drop his hands. 

“Okay then why are you….?” Robert looked at the distance between them becoming smaller as Aaron continued to move closer. 

“I don't know,” Aaron groaned as he felt the friction between them. 

“I love you,” Robert gasped as he felt Aarons body press into him. 

“I know ya do,” Aaron smiled down at him. 

“But you don't?” 

“I can't not now, not when he's still out there,” the way Aaron said it like it was a possibility made Roberts heart soar, and he knew he had to help Aaron through the trail, to be there for him, to get justice for what Gordon had done to him and that’s why he replied, 

“And I get that.” 

“Do ya?” Aaron asked his face so close to Roberts he could smell the lingering scent of beer as Aaron talked.

“Of course I do,” Robert uttered, his hand finding Aarons back and pulling him in so Aaron was nuzzling his into neck which was his intention but he wasn’t complaining about it either.

“I want ya always, but I’m not gonna push ya Aaron, not until you are ready okay,” Robert whispered up into Aaron ear, his breath causing the hairs on the back of Aarons neck to stand up.

And they stayed like that wrapping up in each other until Aaron could feel Robert begin to shiver beneath him. 

“Take me to bed.” 

“Aaron?” Robert choked out, he wasn’t sure what Aaron meant and he didn’t want to misread anything and jeopardise what they had. 

“Sleep Robert, just to sleep.”

“Okay,” Robert nodded as Aaron sat back up onto his lap. 

“Together,” Aaron added just to make sure Robert knew what he meant, he didn’t want to be alone, not tonight.

“If that's what you want.” 

“I do and…….” Aaron sighed,

“I do ya know.” 

“You do what?” Robert asked not daring to say what he thought Aaron meant. 

The tension between them was almost unbearable as Aaron bit his lip to stop himself from moaning out the three words he knew Robert was desperate to hear. Instead he looked deep into Robert ice blue eyes, he loved Robert, he knew that, he just wasn’t ready to say the words yet so he’d show him. his gaze dropped to find Roberts perfect lips, lips he’d kissed a hundred times before but never like this, never so openly with nothing between them but love and trust, because even after everything Robert had proven to him he could be trusted. So he did want he wanted and showed Robert exactly how much he cared. He tentatively leaned in closing the gap between them once and for all and pressed his lips briefly to Roberts. It couldn't have lasted for more than a few seconds but for Robert it made the world stop. 

When Aaron pulled back he was blushing, his bottom lip held firmly between his teeth letting Robert know just how nervous he was. 

“Will you ever say it back?” Robert rushed out before his brain kicked in. 

“One day,” Aaron nodded a smile creeping across his face as he disengaged himself from his former, soon to be again, and possibly forever, lover. 

“One day,” Robert repeated his heart full of hope, there were no secrets or lies between them now and could wait, he’d been waiting, because he knew, as he felt Aarons weight slid off him only to be replaced by his calloused hand in his as Aaron pulled him up from the sofa and he followed him up the stairs, that one day would come sooner than he'd ever could have dreamed of.


End file.
